Lush Life
By Richard Price
455 Pages
6x9 page
Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Book starts in page 3
Page 7
Here we have an error in pronoun usage. Nothing tragic but worth pointing out nonetheless. It’s not correct.
…if the driver says that one thing, goes one word over some invisible line, then without any change of expression, without any warning signs except maybe a slow straightening up, a sad/disgusted looking off, he steps back, reaches for the door handle, and the world as they knew it, is no more.
“They” refers to “driver.” “They” is plural and “driver” is singular. The pronoun must agree in number with it’s antecedent and it does not. I also don’t like the construction of “sad/disgusted.” Do you see how it just doesn’t look right? Why not use an “and” there? Makes it look amateurish.
Page 8
A cop is asking a kid questions and for some reason the kid answers many of the cop’s questions with…questions.
”What the fuck college takes cash?”…
“Burke Technical in the Bronx? It’s new.”
“So what’s your major?”
“Furniture management?”
“What’s his name?”
“Rodriguez?”
I don’t understand this at all. It was hard to follow the conversation but I’m pretty those were the kids answers. Why the question marks though?
Finished the prologue on page 11. It was a kid getting busted for a bag of weed. I don’t like the writing. Very skittish. He mentions things in the scene like I know what the hell he’s talking about. I’m not intrigued.
Page 16
…but solidly and obliviously blocked the entrance…
I think “blocked” would have worked just fine. Can do without the redundancies.
The people were overwhelmingly Latino, …
Wow, these people must have REALLY been Spanish. 120% from the sound of it. Heavy duty Spanish.
Page 17
The writing isn’t as skittish as before but it’s winded because of long sentences. You need to be in shape to read this. Damn near one whole paragraph is just one sentence. I’m not into this style either. It doesn’t give you time to digest what you read. Your mind cannot take a breath.
An outline of the Virgin Mary molded in frost is on a freezer door in a deli. A large line forms outside and the owners are charging admission to see “her.”
Page 19
…who had successfully breached the procession.
These kids didn’t just get through the line. Oh no. They successfully breached. Wouldn’t be an attempt to be literary would it? LOL
Page 22
I’ll go on record here and say I don’t like the use of the colon here. It’s used properly sometimes but other times not. It’s used too often to be affective. Also, it turns this work into a book of lists rather than literature.
Page 23
Two teenagers, one light-skinned, the other Latino…
One was light skinned? Was he white or a light skinned black person? Can you be more specific?
Page 28
Just finished reading a conversation between the two teens. Honestly, I don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. It’s jammed with colloquialisms. Yes, Mr. Price did his research and it’s very neat and all. He even impresses us with his coolness and uses the “N” word. But all of that means absolutely nothing if I don’t know what is happening in the story. I know there are critics out there who will laud Mr. Price for his representation of street life but I don’t see that as literary. He knows how kids talk on the street. We should whip out the Nobel Prize for him?
The man does LOVE his adverbs.
…but he’d been feeling amorphously anxious ever since...
That almost makes no sense
Page 29
…anxiously toddling from foot to foot.
Drop “anxiously.” Let “toddling from foot to foot” SHOW he is anxious.
Page 31
…his eyes like two cherries floating in buttermilk.
LOL You’re kidding, right?
Page 32
Just finished chapter one. The mentioning of streets and places in the section of NYC continues but I don’t know it that intimately so what does it mean to me? I’m not told where things are in relation to one another or to the characters for that matter. He’s not recreating or creating this section of NYC for me; he’s just spouting off names of streets and places. It’s all well and good but it does nothing for the story except make it longer.
Page 35
I hoped the head would be out of the ass by now. But no.
Bellowing with adrenaline, they all drew down, and when he saw the four guns trained on his chest, the silver object, a cell phone, went sailing and cracked the window of the adjoining Sana’a market.
If that cell phone weighed five pounds and was hurled at a window, it might not crack it. A normal cell phone thrown in the air breaks a plate glass window? No.
Page 38
He uses the colon so often I feel like he’s shitting on me on purpose now. He dares me to put up with more of his shit. The guy can’t write. He forces his style. Forces it on you like a kid who tries to be cool.
Sounds odd but this book needs subtitles.